A quick word first
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Resolving a dispute with just one other person can be hard enough. Accusations may be tossed back-and-forth. Tempers may flare. That can also happen in high-stakes deal-making.
It’s all the harder when each side is represented by several people. Within your own team, colleagues will likely differ on priorities, strategy, and may even disagree about the desirability of making a deal.
It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of thinking of everyone on the other team as peas in a pod. A common mistake is reading the loudest, most contentious person as speaking for whole the group. Maybe he or she has been told to play the bad-cop. Or it could be that they are angry about the unsatisfactory proposal you’ve put forward—and still angrier at their own colleagues for even considering it.
So instead, start with the proposition that the internal division you have to cope with in your own team is likely mirrored in theirs. As best you can, try to sense how well its members are aligned on the issues, who the most influential people are, and what their rules are, formal or implicit, for making group decisions.
Reading the room
Take care to monitor their interactions, what they say and how the react to each other. Look for possible allies on the other side who may be advocates for outcomes you favor. See if you can identify potential deal blockers (they may be easiest spot, but don’t jump to conclusions).
Even in the most congenial negotiations, there will be someone who is hardest to please and someone else most eager to accommodate you. Likewise in contentious cases, there will be a person who demands the sun, the moon, and the earth from you, while a teammate might be okay with just getting the sun and moon.
In making these assessments, don’t pigeon-hole people. Their attitudes may shift in the course of the negotiation.
Who are the deciders?
Making these assessments is both important and difficult. But making the effort can at least release you from seeing the other side as monolithic. And that’s essential, since you may not have to please their most difficult team members.
Look at how members of their team interact. Are there patterns of deference? Who are the influencers? If you can address interests of those people, they may become behind-the-scenes advocates for you.
In some cases, you may only need to sway a majority. For example, if you’re seeking a zoning variance to build a garage on your property, winning a municipal board’s approval by a three-to-two vote is just as good as getting it five-to-nothing. Commonly, the majority prevails in those situations.
There seldom are formal rules in business negotiations, but unanimity often isn’t required. You may be able to get assent even if not everybody on their team is on board. Be careful, though to make sure that the dissenter cannot sabotage implementation.
That’s also true within your own team. Strive for internal consensus. That doesn’t require that each member strongly endorses the terms. But if most of team supports an agreement (or, for that matter, believes you should walk away), try to persuade the outlier not to stand in the way. Over the long term, it’s in the organization’s interest that the views of a capable majority are respected.
Enlisting allies and quasi-mediators
It would be great if you could clone the potential allies you’ve spotted across the table, so that everyone on their team would be open to making a deal that’s satisfactory to you. Nurture that relationship, but don’t hug allies too tightly. You don’t want their colleagues to think they’ve sold out to you.
In the same spirit, look for someone on their team that seems respected and trusted by everyone on their team, both allies and blockers. Even better if they have some rapport with you. Such people might serve as go-betweens, quasi-mediators, if you will, even if they don’t realize that themselves. And how about you: could you play this role for your team?
If so, maybe during a break in an in-person negotiation, you might casually bump into them at the water fountain for some off-the-record conversation about how the process is going.
Or if the meeting is virtual, perhaps one-on-one texting to your counterpart could help build some bridges. But be careful. For one thing, be sure you’re sending that note to the right person! And make sure that you have at least the tacit support of your teammates for reaching out. You don’t want to look like you’re trying hijack the process.
Housekeeping
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This article brings back fond memories of the “Harborco” negotiation simulation, which required careful consideration of the concepts you cover in this article. During the Harvard Negotiation Master Class, I was paired with five other parties in a complicated set of facts. A seemingly impossible network of objections and pushback resulted in a final unanimous agreement - all six parties agreed to a final vote. Your article is a roadmap for achieving such a result!
Indeed, the most outspoken person in this simulation was not the deciding factor for our success. A quiet, soft spoken, and reserved individual held the keys to a successful outcome. The most important skill was asking a lot of questions, while being strategic with the types of questions I was asking.
Understanding we did not need every party to vote ‘yes’ to reach agreement was key. Mediation skills were imperative to managing the party-to-party negotiations, as well as identifying each party’s unique perspectives and requirements for moving forward. Leaving the toughest party until the end, I was able to secure enough votes for a positive outcome. Then, I was in a safe position to tell the final party that although we’d love to have his vote, we no longer needed him to move forward. This self-generated walk away leverage was all it took to convince the last remaining party to jump on board.
Another good article for your readers to rely on is ‘Making the Most of Multiparty Negotiations’ by Professor Susskind (https://hbswk.hbs.edu/archive/making-the-most-of-multiparty-negotiations).