Negotiation at Work

WHY NEGOTIATING WITH COLLEAGUES CAN BE A CHALLENGE

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At a conference years ago, I heard the head of one of the nation’s largest health care systems say:

“Once. Just once, I’d love to make a unilateral decision.”

He said that with a smile and drew big laughs in the hall. But he was serious. On reflection, I could see why.

Yes, he was responsible for hundreds of thousands of employees. And yes, at headquarters he was on the top floor, with the biggest office in the C-suites, seemingly the top dog. But for bold, new initiatives, he needed approval from the Board of Directors to whom he reported. Likewise, he almost always had to get buy-in from his Chief Operating, Financial, Legal, and Information Officers. Nominally they reported to him and he held ultimate authority. But unless a majority of him embraced his decisions, his plans could wither on the vine.

I saw this happen at a well-known company I was advising that supposedly was about to form a strategic partnership with one of its most prominent competitors. Had they pulled it off, the deal would have made the front-page news in the Wall Street Journal, but it never happened. It wasn’t problems with the other party at the bargaining table. Rather it exploded because of internal dissent.

At the planning sessions that I attended, everyone in the senior leadership professed to be in favor of the deal. The heads of two important departments expressed support, though sometimes they’d note they were “on board, in principle” and then add, “the devil is in the details.” Very deftly they would drag the conversation down into the weeds, noting one supposed problem after another. “If we can just solve those issues,” they’d say, “we’re all for the deal 100 percent.”

I tried to help, saying that if they couldn’t reach consensus within their own team, there was no hope of reaching agreement with the other company. Of course, the dissenters knew that very well. That was their goal.

In their culture, saying no to the boss was off-limits. But that meant that saying yes didn’t necessarily mean that everybody truly agreed. In what turned out to be the last planning meeting, I was watching the CEO. He didn’t hide his frustration very well, but he could count noses. There just wasn’t enough support to carry the day. He ultimately pulled the plug on partnering with the competitor.

Few of us are involved in deals worth scores of millions of dollars, but the same dynamics occur in small, and even informal teams within an organization. The whole point of a team is to bring together people with different talents, perspectives, and resources. But that often means that team members will also have honest differences about priorities and how best to address them.

If you’re the leader (anointed or ad hoc), it falls to you to surface those differences and build consensus. It’s not easy, but you’ll have more success if you follow these key principles.

First, remember that (as in the story above) yes doesn’t always mean yes. Try to build a culture of candor. Asking, “Is everyone all right with this?” may get you hollow assent. Say instead, “There’s always a downside. What problems could we have with this plan if we move forward with it?” Also, model the behavior you want to see from others. Specifically, when it’s appropriate, say no clearly and explain why.

Second, remember that the issue on the table isn’t the only thing that’s being negotiated. Relationships are being enacted, as well. People want confirmation that they are respected and being heard. Sometimes that may be the main thing a person cares about.

Third—and related to the prior point—internal negotiations almost always have a history and a future. Two people on a team may have had a bad encounter in the past. For them, the meeting may be a venue for re-enacting old battles. If you spot that going on, consider having a break-out session with them with the goal of getting them to focus on the matter at hand. Remind them that if one them will get his way this time, then the other should have his turn next time around.

You can do all these things and more, and still have challenging meetings with colleagues whose support you’re trying to win. In your worst moments, I wouldn’t blame you if you mumble to yourself what the health system CEO said, “Once. Just once I wish I could make a unilateral decision.”

Postscript

Here are three great books on the overlap between leadership and negotiation. Two of them are classic:  Deborah Kolb’s Negotiating at Work and Jeswald Salacuse’s Real Leaders Negotiate! And now Don Moore and Max Bazerman’s Decision Leadership just came out three weeks ago.

Housekeeping

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Be well, Mike